


I Wasn’t Enough

by MagicalMoon



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anger, Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Please Don't Hate Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 17:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13979883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalMoon/pseuds/MagicalMoon
Summary: Kathryn reflects on her romantic relationship with her first officer and what went wrong.





	I Wasn’t Enough

**Author's Note:**

> These Characters belong to Paramount but the plot is mine. 
> 
> Oh and for all the J/C shippers out there, please don’t hate me. I ship the two as well but hey we always need a bit of angst ;)

My feet were frozen to the floor. My mind was raging as my blood boiled. I couldn't believe what was happening right before my eyes. How could this have happened? At that moment the only word that came to my mind was 

_Why?_

o-o-o

I was stupid for not knocking on his door to alert him to my presence. Maybe it was good I didn't, or I would have never found out the truth. I was going to say I would have learned the hard way, but there's no easy way to find out you've been cheated on, by someone you loved

o-o-o

There was a time that he loved me and me him. There were times where we didn't get out of bed; instead, we spent the whole day making love. There were times when we kissed each other good night and did the same in the morning. There were times when we couldn't stop staring at each other. 

_These times would now cease to exist_.

o-o-o

When was I not enough for you? Was it when I worked overtime because my crew needed me? Was it when I came home exhausted after dealing with a Red Alert? Was it when I switched out my silk nightgown for a large t-shirt? Was it when I was forced to chose Starfleet over you?

_I guess being me was not good enough_.

o-o-o

We were friends before lovers, and now we have lost that. We will now have to work with each other every day, pretending that this never happened. This is precisely the reason why I refused to have a relationship with my subordinate. Allowing someone to love me was not an option. As was Allowing me to love someone was also not an option. Our relationship will never be the same. I told you our private life must be separated from our Starfleet life and that parameter will remain. 

_Our friendship will not_.

o-o-o

As I saw you making love to her, I didn't know what to feel. I was hurt to the point of numbness. I couldn't believe I let you into my heart. How could I have been so stupid to think that you loved me as much as I loved you? I suppose we never found true love .if we had you wouldn't have to find it somewhere else. I had it all along you just didn't see it. 

_Love isn't just physical intimacy_.

o-o-o

One day I hope you see you didn't just cheat on me. You cheated on everything that we could've been.

o-o-o

I deserve to find someone who loves me like I used to love you.

**Author's Note:**

> I live on Kudos thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed :)


End file.
